teh purrfect websight

Teh hoomins got rid of the old mangy ones and got nice new ones.  They smell funny.  But they are nice and comfy to sleep on, fuzzy like the insides of ugg boots. And they don’t yet smell like that orange thing, Pumpkin.  They are MY rugs, he is not allowed to sleep on them.  If he tries, I will hiss and spit and growl and then SWAT him.  I don’t like the orange thing One Little Bit.  Why do we have to have it?

Stupid thing cries all the time anyway.  Teh Daddy hoomin goes out to work and bring home moneys for our food and ‘nip, and Pumpkin CRIES because he’s not home.  It’s so annoying when he sits by the door all day, crying.  He is doing it right now.

I think it is time for me to go over there and SWAT him, then he’ll have something to cry about!

So now teh Mommy Hoomin wants to humiliate me MOAR!  It was bad enough when she kept me from teh TOONA WATER.  But now, she’s going around with a camcorder, tryng to catch me being mean to Sabby. She says she wants to film me being bad so she can show it to teh Daddy Hoomin, who loves me and does not believe any of this nonsense about me being bad.  I am a purrfectly GOOD kitteh, Daddy knows that.  But Mommy is very good at editing movies, she may just try to MAKE it look like I was being bad.  Now that’s not fair, is it?

I hope she leaves that stupid camcorder someplace where I can gack or pee on it.  That would SERVE HER RIGHT!

Srsly.  I am going to get my revenge on her by spending all her moneys.  I’m going to buy a new compooter JUST FOR ME, and no one can do anything about it.  HAHAHAHAHA!  And then I’m gonna buy me some of the world’s finest ‘NIP!

I’ll tell you what she did to me today, and once you hear it, you kittehs will definitely agree that this is SERIOUS KITTEH ABUSE.  And that she is getting off easy by my just spending all her moneys.

She maded a toona sammich, and she poured teh toona water into bowls for us to nom.  Sabby wanted to have some, but I swatted and growled at him and maded him go away.  For some reason, teh Mommy hoomin did not like this, and you know what she did?  She picked me up and CLOSED ME IN THE BEDROOM, and I didn’t get to has ANY TOONA WATER!  NONE!  NOT FAIR!

So now I’m gonna spend all of her moneys.  At least I will be considerate and use one of those cyberpowerpc coupons to buy my new compooter. And using ebillme.com is better than using teh hoomins’ credit cards; at least I’m not running up their debt. The hoomins hate debt, don’t like to use teh credit cards much at all.  And then I’ll start my OWN blog, called IHateMyHoomjins.com.  Or IHateSabby.com.

But it will be fun to shop and drain their bank account.  I’ll buy a compooter and ‘nip and lots more stuff.  That’ll teach them!

Because for one thing, its HOT, and for another, our hoomins go away a lot!  They went away again last weekend, all of a sudden, no advance warning.

Teh Mommy Hoomin was kind of upset, because the lady with the goggies whom lives upstairs was out in the back hallway SCREAMING at 5AM.  I did not liek it, either, it disturbed my beauty sleep, too.  No fair that teh hoomins can just leave and get away from this, but WE can’t.

Also, teh Mommy Hoomin was upset because they had no baseball tickets for teh weekend.  But tehn she got some, and tehy went away, did not come back until Sunday.

When I saw they were leaving, I tried to sneak along.  I went into teh Daddy Hoomin’s suitcase, he maded me move.  I went into teh Mommy Hoomin’s suitcase, she maded me move.  I went into one of those promotional tote bags taht teh Mommy Hoomin has, but she did not take taht bag on the trip. Oh well.

Mommy gave us toona water today, so all is well in our little kitteh world!

Do you know what teh Daddy Hoomin does at night?  He takes off all his furs!  I don’t like this because them I can’t sit on him, he says my claws are too sharp!  He says his legs look like they need acne treatment, they have so many red spots on them. But its his own fault. If he just kept his furs on, then I’d be able to sit on him, and my claws won’t hurt him.

But it’s been very hot here, sometimes I wish I could take my furs off.  The Mommy Hoomin said I could get something called a lion cut.  She showed me a picture of a kitteh with a lion cut, and it looks scary.  Also, it has to be done with that scary noisy thing that Mommy uses to cut teh Daddy Hoomin’s head furs.  I’m a-scairt of that, and also, it takes a long time for teh furs to grow back.

Also, the other kittehs will laugh at me, and that would not be fun!

Teh Mommy Hoomin gave us TOONA WATER today! This is the water that gets drained from the toona can. But it has to be toona packed in water, not oil, that toona oil is NASTY! Just as well that so many hoomins want to find some sort of quick weight loss; toona packed in water is supposed to be more healthy. And it IS better for us kittehs!

But how come only Little Mitty gets to lick teh bowl that the toona salad was in?  I like the mayonnaise, too, but she ALWAYS gets to that bowl before I do, and licks it clean.  NO FAIR!