…because the Mommy and Daddy humans went out, and stayed out ALL NIGHT! They came back today, though. But WHY do they have to leave us?

I think they are leaving us again, because they didn’t put away the big green bags that they pack their human clothes and stuff into.

I hope they do not forget about us while they are gone. I’m afraid that they will stop at the store for food and stuff for us. and come back with dog supplies instead.

No DOGS here!

I don’t want them to leave us again!

Last, but most certainly not least, we find out what celebrity I am!

Paris Hilton

Life’s a Party

Has red carpet and will travel!! Your little prima donna is none other than the Princess of Privilege, Paris Hilton!

The pet celebutante who started it all, Allegra is notorious for attracting camera crews wherever her peticured little tootsies take her. Always looking for a good time, play comes first and work comes… well, let’s just say you’re still waiting for that so-called work part to come. The only problem with Allegra is that she hasn’t really found her calling yet, unless sneaking in the back door of the hippest spots in town can be considered a calling. But, as it goes with royalty, she was born into it and wears the tiara divinely, so Allegra is in no real rush to secure one of those “job” thingies. Her pet worth is in the gazillions, which guarantees continued appearances on Lifestyles of the Rich and Furry.

What’s a “job” anyway? Doesn’t sound like something I’d want!

Does this mean I own a hotel? I heard the humans talking about this hotel they are going to tomorrow, called the “Hilton Garden Inn”. If I own it, why can’t I go, too?

…would you look at what I found on the floor? I know exactly what this is…it a a compact flash memory card! My, oh my!

What shall I do with it? I think that it has pictures on it, some of those pictures could be of ME. And they might well be pics that I do not wish to see posted here on the internet, yanno what I mean?

I will have to hide it. Maybe I need to bury it in the litter box. Would that be a good idea?

Oh-oh…the humans just found it. I guess I am in trouble now. Or maybe not…I shall do as I always do, and DENY EVERYTHING!

Sabby already said so earlier, but now I am here to confirm it. I AM NOT DEAD!

But yeah, I’m pissed. Humans are so stupid. WHY do they have to bother me while I am getting my beauty sleep? And if I want to sleep on the rug in front of the toilet, that is MY prerogative.

I was just tired of sleeping in the bedroom, okay? Stupid humans left the TV on in there, probably for the little orange fool. He likes it. Why does everything have to revolve around him, anyway?

I was sick of the TV because they keep having the same commercials over and over again, for medical assistant schools, title loan companies, and a truck accident lawyer. And they had on some show called Divorce Court, which looks to me like a show about very stupid humans who fight a lot.

I hate TV, unless it’s nature shows about fish and birds.  But none of those were on, so I went to sleep in the bathroom.  And NO, I am NOT dead!

Stupid humans!

…a walk in tub, that is. I saw a commercial on TV for these things, and they are scary. The sides are too high…if I go in there to drink the droplets of water after the humans take their showers, I might not be able to get out! I don’t know how to open doors!

I like the regular bathtub, because I can jump in and out of it whenever I want.  Sometimes, I’m in there, and one of the humans turns on the water.  Boy, do I get out of there FAST!  I may like to drink water, but I don’t like to get wet!

I don’t understand why humans have to get all wet to clean themselves, anyway.  Why can’t they just use their tongues, as we cats do?

Humans do some very catfusing things!

So I was sleeping there, when Mommy came in to use the weird human litter box thing. It has WATER in it, how odd. But humans always have been strange.

Allegra was sleeping on the little rug in from of the human littler box, and she would not move. Mommy was freaking out, she thought that Allegra was dead, she poked at her and she still wouldn’t move. I bet she was wondering if they have term life insurance for cats.

I can understand her feelings, because we had two other cats who died in that exact same spot, in front of the human litter box…Mitty the Kitty and Stripes.

But Allegra, I’m glad to say, was not dead. Just in a very deep sleep. I had woken up and was watching what was going on. And boy, did Allegra look pissed, to have her beauty sleep so rudely disturbed.

I think I shall go and sit atop my cat tree now, to escape Allegra’s wrath. She does tend to take out her frustrations on whoever happens to be nearby, and I don’t want to tangle with her. I’m bigger than she is, but she’s very tough!